Sunday, May 22, 2011

The role of parents in child development

How many times have you heard the sentence:
My child is very immature for his age!
My child has no interests!
By saying these sentences, parents do not talk about their child, what they are saying is that they did not do their work right.
Intelligence is only one factor of children’s success at school and, later on, in life. It is necessary to develop certain character traits of the child, so that the intellect would fully come to the fore. Parents are building the foundation on which will depend the child’s self-confidence, independence and desire for research and learning.
The most important features that the child needs to develop are the sense of responsibility, sense of self-confidence and independence.
These traits of character are primarily developed through the interactions between parents and children in the family. Parents should impose different demands and responsibilities to the children, but being careful that they are appropriate for their age.
Already in the early age, the child should put away his toys. If not, the first time, we should not scold him, but we could offer to do it together, but if a child persistently refuses to put away her/his toys, we should warn her/him that we will simply take the toys away, and then we should  really pack and place them.
Parents should take into account the personality of their children, to encourage those activities in which they are successful, because in this way, we strengthen their confidence, they create a sense of achievement and motivation to try the activities they have less success doing. If the child likes to swim, we should encourage her/him to exercise more, learn the styles of swimming, instead to ask her/him to learn to ride a bike, if she/he doesn’t like that. If your child achieved success in swimming, she-he will gain extra confidence and probably will want to learn to ride a bike.
Independence is going slowly and every child needs to be independent, and the parent’s response to this need can stimulate the development of independence, or push the child to become even more dependent and insecure. If a child indicates a desire to tie the shoelaces on his/her own, we should help her/him in this, but we will not deny that desire, because we hurry and it is faster if we do it. If the child is accustomed to the parent doing everything for her/him, it will be insecure and will not be interested in accomplishing tasks independently, which will negatively affect the acceptance and fulfillment of other obligations.
Besides, a parent who does everything for the child stops her/him from experiencing success. A positive reactions from the parents is also very important, a praise for each attempt of the child's independent activities, because in this way, a child develops a sense of confidence and motivation for learning new activities.
The sense of responsibility is extremely important for the success of every man. This is something we develop since the earliest childhood. The child must learn to bear the consequences of her/his every action.
If a child deliberately destroys a toy, you should explain why it is not nice and what is the damage made. We should also say that you will not buy other toys until you are sure that the child will not destroy the existing ones.
When a child starts to go to school, he/she should be mature enough to accept the compulsory education (if you have previously acted properly). So, first the homework then the play.
Again, let me give a positive example of my friends and their boy 5 and half years old. I wrote about them in the article Tiddly-winks.
Their son is involved in all family affairs. No matter if they dye eggs, stick tiles in the bathroom or paint walls, there is always a small part of the task that he can to do, independently or with the help of his parents. So he meets with things and develops skills and gains confidence.
Recently, he described to us the procedure for fixing tiles:
"First you take 2 or 3 tiles, depends on how many is broken, you clean the floor, put the glue, than ...(I do not remember everything.) Then you look, and if it is not good you fix it!
It appears that the gluing did not go smoothly, but he learned to accept a mistake and correct it.
Not only that they include their son in all activities, his parents involve him in decisions affecting him.
Recently, during the Science Festival, he saw robots that will participate in this year's competition. He was very interested. As the family had other obligations, they let him decide whether to go to watch the competition or go to the countryside. He decided to go to the countryside.
I wish them a good time and good weather, but if by chance it rains, the next time, he will ask for weather for the weekend before deciding. That is how the experience and responsibility for decisions are acquired.
It is necessary to invest much time and effort to enable a child to live independently.
We all love our children, and love is work.

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